Sunday, 26 April 2015

The Kylie Minogue Incident

Nate loves things. It's a wonderful thing to see him excited about something but sometimes it is just a little too much.

My sister made up a CD of MP3s for the auction for Lucy last year, which was in April. It holds roughly 90 songs and basically introduced my kids to a whole new world of pop out there. After the auction that CD made it to the car. We have a six stacker, there is no shortage of music to listen to. None.

We've travelled a lot of kilometres in our Pajero in the last twelve months. It's become a second home, taking us up to Queensland and the Northern Territory and we've calculated that we've done around fifteen thousand kilometres as a family stuck in that car.

All of those kilometres have revolved around this one freakin disc.

Waterfall Way, the Pacific Highway, Stuart Highway, from Mooloolaba to home and all the way back up to Ormiston Gorge, the music played over and over.

Yesterday we had to climb back in the car again to drive to Lincoln to pick up Lucy from my Mum and Dad's place. It's a quick 90kms. Piece of piss after the distances we'd done in the last two weeks. But we all have a breaking point.

Now nothing against Australia's Pop Princess, but hearing Celebration for the god-knows-how-manyieth time made my eye twitch. I wanted to skip Kylie Minogue but Nate is a stickler, there is no pressing next on his watch. Every song has to be listened to no matter how annoying it is.

But I just couldn't do it anymore. I changed disc. It was risky. I turned up the music to try and block out Nate's screams. Nope. Very loud.

I pressed eject. Disc One was flung into Andre's lap. "Just throw it out the fucking window!"

Now, here is where I'll remind you that Andre is known as the calm one.

His face went red, his hands shook as he raised the disc above his head and he bent it in half while roaring, "Kylie Fucking Minogue!"

Surprisingly the disc didn't snap but all this did was anger Andre further. He bent it back the other way and when even that didn't snap he opened the window and flung Disc One as far as he could.

The car went silent. Then we laughed. Everyone in that car couldn't breathe for laughing. We had spent one day too many in the vehicle. One day too many.

With that, Starrtrekking is over for another year. It's been fabulous and crazy and I wish it never had to end.

Wednesday, 15 April 2015


I know my job as a writer is to paint you a picture so amazing that you yourself feel like you are right there with me, but today I was lost for words. There are a few moments in my life where I have felt overwhelmed by the presence of something.

The days I met my babies, seeing a whale for the first time, a Muse concert, my first rainforest and now, Uluru.

I have had this burning need for years to come see it but nothing I'd imagined had compared. The whole thing, that gigantic piece of ancient rock has an energy. I sound like a total hippy. I don't even care. I finally had my moment where my hand touched the rock and I cried. 

Big Nancy pants.

I don't know whether it was because I'd achieved something I'd wanted to do for so long or the fact that the whole place felt important. I imagine that's how religious people feel in a well built church.

Where words fail me, photos might help. If you ever get the chance, come here. But maybe do it in winter.

Tuesday, 14 April 2015


Where I live has about one hundred people living there. At times it feels super isolated but after seeing Marla I'm redefining my version of isolated. Sure it has a supermarket and we don't but from what I could tell there weren't actual people living there. It was green however and after a long day this place felt like an oasis.

After a shitty night's sleep due to a restless husband, a crying toddler And the heat, I woke up to the most beautiful
sunrise I've ever seen. This place didn't offer much in the way of community but it sure has some stunning scenery. 

We made the border which was so exciting right up until the moment where I remembered Nate's sensory issue with flies... and we took him into the middle of the fucking desert where flies hang by the millions. Good work Arlene.

This looks like a family fun shot, the joy we must have experienced, being on both sides of the border, hilarious. A brief second look though and you'll see Nate screaming. This didn't stop the entire time we were out of the car until we got back in. The. Entire. Time.

We hit Ayres Rock campground and found our park. We are free campers from way back and until this trip had never stepped into a caravan park. I have to say that this crammed in shit isn't for me. There are more people in this half row of caravans than my whole entire town. It's taking some getting used to.

Tomorrow I finally get to see Uluru which has been on my bucket list since I was old enough to know what a bucket list is. I can't wait to touch it. I know, it's slightly weird. I have sensory needs that need met too.

Well off to bed. I have a spectacular sunrise to catch tomorrow.


Sunday, 12 April 2015


We had this. Not a single fight the whole first day. There was whinging. Oh yes there was whinging. But that is part and parcel of having Jude within ear shot.

Pulling in to Glendambo we took in the red dirt and suspected refuse dump view and congratulated ourselves on a successful first part of the adventure. 

The camper went on up, the camp set up, we had tea. Everything was going fucking swimmingly.

Fucking. Swimmingly.

Then chaos.

Jude's whinese got the better of Nate, who was suffering from having very little sensory input all day and landing in a place with zero swings or anywhere much to even go for a walk.

They fought. Worst ever. There was screaming. Has anyone seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre? There is a house here that looks frighteningly similar. My boy's blood curdling screams just helped to complete the horror vibe this place was giving off.

I was 99% sure we were gonna get the police called.

In the end I sort of yell-begged Andre to take Jude and get him the fuck out of ear shot so I could calm Nate but ya know me. I'm like, "that's it, We are turning back around. We are going home!"

So now there were three crying children . Somehow it all kicked down a notch  and they are finally a-fucking-sleep!

Day one summary; it was good. Then it was fucked. 

We lived.

Friday, 6 February 2015

Promoting Obesity

Being fat makes people angry. I'm not entirely sure why, it's not as if my body just wandering by should make your day any worse, or any better for that matter.

Lately I've been self punishing by reading comments about the awesome Tess Munster becoming the biggest plus sized model to be signed to a major agency. There is certainly a lot of praise for her and so there should be. The girl has worked hard and she's a total babe. But there are always the trolls. There are so many it becomes monotonous. I was sick of reading this particular gem, "I'm not against fat people but..." One thing I've learnt in my life is that anything that comes before the "but" is superfluous. Everything that comes after it tells you about who a person really is and what they really believe.

Then after troll after troll one comment I saw repeatedly fucked me right off.

"She's promoting obesity."

People like this (and there are a shit tonne of them) don't want fat people to have a visible presence in society in case other fat people step up, stand tall, get shit done, get on with their life and fucking thrive. How this affects them personally I am still to find out. But they seem very miffed about it.

When obesity is "promoted" by the very fact that someone exists in a fat body AND can live a fulfilling life with love, a career and family it turns some people's world upside down. People rage about this and so many normally very nice people jump in and start throwing false concern about the health of fat people and how showing people of size is making it "okay". Well first off it is okay. Secondly, this shows me how limited our knowledge of health is; and how limited our ability to just mind our own fucking business. That's the kicker right there. It's not your body. Not your business.

Repeat after me. Not your body. Not your business.

I see all bodies being judged all of the time and frankly I'm sick to fucking death of it. All bodies are good bodies. Mine is fat and it has nurtured three babies, allowed me to travel, to type my thoughts, to feel the bass thump through me at a gig, to dance and move and hug all the beautiful people in my life. My body has been hurt and healed and adored.

So fuck anyone who thinks fat people should be invisible. I exist and I have every damn right to. We all have a right to exist and be celebrated for our unique and wonderful selves.

To all the trolls, kiss my fat and fabulous arse.

Monday, 26 January 2015

Long Weekends

Long weekends. I don't care what the reason is for having them, I just love having them. This long weekend we packed the camper and hit the road for our second trip sans tent and you know what we did? We left so late that we had to put up the camper in the dark.

The freakin dark.

Unless you are well acquainted with one of these things my advice is to not do that. Ever. Wait until the next morning or maybe just get a husband that doesn't faff about stroking his beard and pondering things before actually just doing things.

I am a doer. I jump in and do things without considering whether what I'm doing is the right thing or not. Most of the time I'm right. Totally right. Very rarely wrong...

Andre is a thinker. He considers things from every angle and talks about it at length. I'm surprised our marriage has survived such differences but then again we only notice them when we're camping or renovating. Fun times.

So we left late. Then we got lost. I don't even know how we got lost but we were on a dirt road and the sun was fading on the horizon, which to me suggested that this was the direction we had to go in. Only there wasn't a road in that direction. Eventually as the last rays sunk below the wheat fields we stumbled on a sign pointing us to exactly where we needed to go.

Enter camper trailer in the dark erecting. I'm not shy using the word fuck anymore but I didn't say it once putting it up. Not aloud. There was some moving the camper back and forth so we didn't roll off the bed in the middle of the night and eventually after some snapping at each other we settled for "kinda flat" and went with that.

This is how it looked in the morning. We have no idea what we're doing.

Not our best effort and no matter what we did we couldn't figure out how to fix it. To be honest I gave up after about five minutes of Andre's beard stroking.

Other than this hiccup though the weekend was ridiculous! Camping has never been all that relaxing for us, Nate is a constant worry with his absconding and need to do something every five minutes but this time - OH MY GOD. We sat still! He made friends and played, he did what the other kids did, he went on walks and didn't run away, he listened when we asked him to stay close, he helped build a cubby house in the trees. For real! I couldn't believe it. 

For a moment in time I felt what it must be like for other people with neuro typical kids. It made me realise that Nate isn't going to be a kid forever, he is growing and changing in ways I had only dreamt of. Some days are still complete poo but the way forward doesn't seem as bleak, it doesn't feel as scary and for the first time in years I've seen that maybe one day Nate will have a life that doesn't involve me constantly monitoring his safety. Just watching him play melted away anxieties I didn't even know I was harbouring.

Normally this is the space where I would put a big photo up of Nate doing all these cute things but apparently I didn't man the camera as well as I thought and the only two photos I even have of him he's covering his face.  But he is there, on the beach in photo below. I promise!

See this pole? I shall hold it and ponder its placement for at least another ten minutes.

Jude pretending to be Mia.

Photo credit to Keelie!
Jude and Ethan became besties. Too cute!

Nate's third from the left!

Another few trips and we'll have this camper thing going on then there will be no stopping us...



Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Oh hi there 2015

Okay, who stole the month of December and almost all of January? Holidays are coming to a close and I've barely started. There was nowhere near as much beach and sun as I'd have liked, but there was a solo trip to Adelaide and another one to the east coast that reminded me how important my gal pals are and how much I miss my family when I'm not with them!

Last year was the calmest year we have had in a long time. Nate still found things to challenge us with, Willow was still passively ignoring everything we said and Jude entered the terrible two/threenager stage of his life. But all three of them grew and thrived in ways we never imagined and made me squeal at their cute selves daily.

So what will 2015 hold? All I know is this: whatever life throws at me, I will handle it. I'll accept and embrace the positive in my life, reject the negative and make more plans for adventure. Starrtrekking is only just getting started.

If 2015 is half as amazing as 2014 we're going to be awesome.

Happy belated New Year y'all